Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
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He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
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So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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