I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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