just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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