shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
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It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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