I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize