Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize