you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize