take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize