I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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