alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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