Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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