Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize