you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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