Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
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you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
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I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize