You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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