Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
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There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
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let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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