i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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