Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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