in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize