maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize