On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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