So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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