I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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