His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize