sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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