i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize