I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize