He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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