They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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