anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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