No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
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I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
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No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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