tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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