I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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