she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I woke up under a house in Key West
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