i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
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It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
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I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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