grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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