What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize