no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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