im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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