I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
either way he was missing a nipple.
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He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
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Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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