I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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