we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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