??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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