Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you inspire me to be a worse person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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