Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize