Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
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She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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