I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize