He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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