You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
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Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
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Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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