We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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